Posts filed under 'Casino Humor'

Feel like a laugh?

Online Casino DirectoryHere are some “one liners” that we have been collecting for awhile. They are not casino or gambling related humor, but humor non the less – and some are funnier than others!

 

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

A man went to a zoo. The only animal was a dog. It was a shitzu.

I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up i will just hit them all at once.

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.

The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they’re wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.

Why do we call them buildings when they’re finished? Shouldn’t they be called Builts?

The internet… where women are men and 12 year old boys are FBI agents

 

If you’re looking for a safe, secure and completely confidential online gambling experience check out the A-Z online casino directory at CasinoLabRat.com for the latest recommended casinos. Here’s a link to a page that compares online casinos that are popular with American players.

Add comment August 26th, 2008

Are you like Pedro? Claim your free 20 casino chips!

£20 TV Offer! 

The UK gambling industry has undergone some fairly radical changes over the last year or so and the bookies and casinos are testing the waters by advertising on TV and through other media to try to catch your eye. Some campaigns have been more successful, and deemed legal by the authorities, while others have ended up being reviewed for “political correctness” and pulled (like PaddyPower’s Man Breasts ads).
 
To celebrate the launch of their very first TV advert Ladbrokes Casino are offering all new players to Ladbrokescasino.com £20 worth of chips FREE!

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>>If you’ve not seen the advertisement you can even play the “Pedro TV ad” on your PC. It’s funny, and worth a look even if you don’t wish to play!

Play it safe at Ladbrokes Casino

 

 

Click here to read the latest Ladbrokes Casino Review at CasinoLabRat.com to check out what’s hot and not about this Microgaming-powered online casino site.

Add comment April 11th, 2008

Christmas Cake and Hours Online

Thanks to the 2 CasinoLabRat.com readers who sent in these seasonal cartoons. Excellent. Hope you’re enjoying some festive cheer!

The team at CasinoLabRat.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Add comment December 25th, 2007

Time for a little Christmas Cheer?

Three Christmas cartoons worth sharing  😉

 

Check out our “new look” web site – CasinoLabRat.com has been madeover…

Add comment December 19th, 2007

How High-Rollers Stay Rich !

Visit us at Casino LabRat for independent casino reviews and ratingsBefore going to Europe to play at the casinos in Monaco, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. “Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce,” the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank’s underground parking garage for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank’s doors, asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. “That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest,” the loan officer said. The man wrote out a cheque and started to walk away.

“Wait sir,” the loan officer said, “While you were gone, I found out you are a multi-millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?”

The man smiled. “Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?”

Add comment March 1st, 2007

Gambling Humor: use your assets!

USING YOUR ASSETS AT A CASINO 
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table.

A very attractive redhead comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m bottomless.” With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, “Momma needs a new pair of pants!”

She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. “YES! I WIN! I WIN!”

With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves.

The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, “What did she roll anyway?” The other answers, “I thought YOU were watching!”  

 

I also liked this one-liner:

THE WEDDING WAGER
There’s the touching story of the young man who said to his girlfriend, “I bet you wouldn’t marry me.” The story goes that she not only called his bet but she raised him five!   

 

Click to visit 49er Casino - a great wild western themeToday’s Casino humor is sponsored by 49er Casino – based on real Time Gaming software, licenced in Kahnawake, Canada and still welcoming US residents

Add comment February 4th, 2007

Casino Humor Courtesy of 49erCasino

49erCasino runs on Real Time Gaming softwareLas Vegas Cab Ride

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost his shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip ticket – if he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. So he went out to the front. He promised to send the driver money from home; he offered him his credit card numbers, his driver’s license, his number etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt the appropriate dialect). “If you don’t have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!” So businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later, the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well, who should he see out there but at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, “How much for a cab to the airport,” he asked. “Fifteen bucks came the reply. “And how much for you to give me a blow job on the way?” “What?!!! Get the hell out of my cab.”

The businessman got in the back of each of the cabs in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, “How much for a ride to the airport?” The cabbie replied, “fifteen bucks”

The businessman said “ok” and off they went. Then as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

US Players welcome>>Visit 49erCasino
>>Read an independent review of 49er Casino (what’s hot and not, payment methods, ownership, licencing, etc)

 

Add comment January 30th, 2007


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